You see... there is this cardinal. And it likes to poop on my car. Every time I come home. Since Spring 2009. I know it harbors some intense feelings of hatred towards me... I just wish I knew what I did to deserve this year of defecation. I wish we could sit down and have a mature, civilized conversation about it instead of playing poop war. I mean seriously, bird. Grow up.
I know what you're thinking. "Brittany, you idiot. Why don't you just wash it off?"
Oh, that's a great idea! Unfortunately, no more than three minutes pass by before the poop is back. I wish I was exaggerating.
"Why don't you get one of those fake owls to scare it away?" Been there.
"You should just park your car in a different spot." Duh. Done that.
My father has sat for hours in our laundry room with his bb gun aimed through the window, just waiting to shoot the little butt-hole. But alas... the bird still lives. And poops.
I'm done being nice. Any suggestions on how to kill a cardinal legally will be graciously accepted.
I've had it with this crap.
On a different note: spring break post is coming soon. Get ready for lots of topless pics (joking, joking).
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