time keeps on slippin'

Hi. Let's just skip the part where I apologize for not posting a new entry in forever. My drug business has really picked up, and I haven't had much time for blogging.

Well... does anybody know what time it is? No, not Tool Time. Although people do confuse me with Heidi an awful lot...

No friends, it's time for another installment of "Lessons from Pre-Teen Brittany's Journal." Let's go back to 1999 again. I'm still the incredibly awkward 11-year-old with slicked back hair. I've provided visual proof below. It's ok, you can laugh... I can't hear you.

The overalls are always a classic. As is the "over the shoulder" look.

It was December 31, 1999. I just got back from a super cool millennium party with my friend/neighbor Kimberly. Our parents made us come home early in case the world ended or people went crazy because of Y2K havoc. After safely ringing in the new year with ginger-ale and lime sherbert, sparklers and the neighborhood fireworks display, I thought it would be appropriate to document the past year. What better way to do so than with a timeline, right? Great idea, I know. Well, according to the drawing below, nothing much happened in my life during 1999. So apparently I had to go back and document my entire existence.

Let's take a closer look at some of these events:

1985: Mom and Dad were married. That's sweet. But I'm not sure why I put it on my life's timeline if I wasn't even born yet?

1988: I was born. Good. We're getting somewhere.

1995: Started first grade at Clay/ Mom got pregnant. Obviously two monumental moments, but one provided a little too much information.

1996: Hope was born. This is my sister's actual name. I wasn't being metaphorical, poetic or dramatic.

1998: Clinton accused of affair w/ Monica Lewinsky. I'm sorry, WHAT?! Why, oh why, did I feel the need to put this on my life's timeline? I can't believe this is one of the eight events that I considered important in my eleven years of life. What a weird kid.

1999: Blank. Hmmm... that's interesting. The year I decided to draw this timeline is the year that nothing of any significance occurred in the life of Brittany Todd. I wonder what I did that year? Was I in a coma? Guess I'll never know. I'm going to hereby refer to 1999 as the "Dark Ages" of my life.

2000: Made the basketball team! Yep... I went back a year later to update the timeline with one of my most valued accomplishments. This event really should have read, The basketball coach felt sorry for me so he let me on the team and I sat on the bench all season!

Thankfully, things have since picked up in my life. My timeline is not as puny anymore, and I've only added one political scandal to my events (Governor Mark Sanford's affair was a big deal to me, ok?).

There is one thing that has remained constant throughout my 22-year timeline, and that is the Lord's impeccable timing. Looking back, I see events that, at the moment, shook my world and made me question God's plan and purpose. But then I see how those events have somehow been molded into something beautiful. Never the way I planned, but always beautiful. His absolute sovereignty becomes more evident with every passing year. While I laugh at how goofy these timelines are, I'm thankful that I wrote them down. They serve as a visual and concrete reminder of God's faithfulness, even when I am so very faithless.

I hope this entry has made you, the reader, feel better about yourself. Any time you feel like there is not much happening in your life, just hop on over to brittanyrtodd.blogspot.com for an instant ego boost. If one person reads this entry (or looks at that picture) and walks away with a better self-esteem, then I have done my job.

Now I'm off to go write down another event. June 28, 2010 will forever be remembered as the day a two-year-old child urinated on my lap and I ate two McDonald's apple pies for lunch. Wait, that's every day.

lemonAID

Q: What do you do when you've just graduated college, only to find that the job market is as murky as the Gulf of Mexico?

A: Have a lemonade stand.

Why should little kids make all the profit? They don't need the money. What are they going to buy? Something frivolous like a Skip-It or Ribbon Dancer (that's what I did)? Unemployed graduates are the ones that need the cash.

While discussing this paradox a couple of weeks ago, my friend Erica and I decided it was time to reverse this trend. That's right... we would have a lemonade stand, and subsequently make a bazillion dollars. I must admit that at first, I thought we were joking about the idea of two twenty-two year old gals holding a lemonade stand. But it turns out that we were serious. Very serious.

Yes, we meant to spell it that way.

So we mixed up some Country Time lemonade, put some ice in a cooler, made a couple of signs, and headed toward the most busy street in Trussville, AL. Luckily, Erica brought along her bullhorn to garner attention (which we got plenty of). We played a fun game of "wave violently at every person who drives by and make them think they must know you, and therefore slow down." That was fun.

We thought the blue paper was a nice touch.

We had three kids who walked by on their way to the pool. They said they "didn't have any money." Yeah right. I know that act. They were just threatened because us older kids are re-claiming the lemonade market. But being the kind, mature women that we are, we gave them free lemonade if they promised to spread the word about our stand to all of their friends at the pool. But they never came back. We felt duped.

At one point during the 30 minutes we were at the stand, we began to yell, "fresh-sqeezed lemonade!" But our lemonade was made from store-bought powder and water, so were essentially lying to the good people of Trussville. But then Erica, in a stroke of genius, quickly told me to give the lemonade a big squeeze. Problem solved. And morals in tact.

Squeezing the lemonade.

I know you're all dying to know how much money we made. Although we had high hopes of being able to retire early, we ended up only making $2.50. One man actually had a $20 bill out to give to me, but stupid Brittany told him the $1 bill would work just fine. *hitting self on head*

I'm so thankful Erica (who is actually employed and has a wonderful job) was willing to join me on this venture. We're currently scouting new locations and brainstorming new sales tactics for another stand in the future.

And I'm looking for a real job that will pay more than $2.50. And benefits would be nice, too.