it's a new day

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;

I come to you with great news. I have successfully replicated Miss Myra's famous lemon icebox pie recipe. After many tries and failures over the past several years, I am pleased to announce that I am no longer a slave to my late-night lemon icebox cravings. I no longer have to cry alone in my car when I realize the restaurant doesn't open until lunch time (so what if I wanted to have a slice for breakfast?). I no longer have to suffer the embarrassment of walking into the barbeque establishment alone and leaving with only a to-go box of dessert.

Citizens of the world, it is a new day. And now I want to share my joy with you. After you see this recipe, you are probably going to think it is a joke. Like I would ever be sarcastic...

This really is incredibly simple. Almost as easy as the cereal and tarts.

You can thank me later:

Ingredients:

1 and 1/2 tubs (12 oz) of Cool Whip

1/2 can (14 oz) sweetened condensed milk

1/2 can (12 oz) frozen lemonade concentrate

Directions:

Are you ready for this?

Mix it all together and throw it in a prepared graham cracker crust (I doubled the crust recipe so it would be extra thick).

Done.

I can't believe that the object of my affection for all these years has just been three ingredients. Looks like Myra is a smart gal. And now I can be just like her.

Also, it seems that I only blog about food these days. Hopefully that will change in the future. But for now, I must go polish this off:

recipe: chocolate tart

Because I've received such positive feedback about the cereal recipe, I've decided to release yet another jewel from the Todd family vault. We call them tarts. And yes, this also happens to be the term that my grandmother used to refer to flatulence. She refused to use the word "fart," so combining the words "toot" and "fart" was the obvious solution. Not that anyone in my family does that kind of thing anyway. Now... who's hungry?!

I'm going to warn you: this recipe requires a little more prep work. But trust me... it is worth the extra effort. Ok, let's get started.

First, open the box.

Next, take one of the foil-wrapped (I know... fancy, right?) packages from the box.

Then, unwrap the foil and place the tarts (there should be two) into the toaster.

Here comes the tricky part, and it's mostly a matter of personal preference. Some like their tarts a little more cooked and dark around the edges. If you're one of these people, then you might want to cook your tart longer. I would suggest doing a "practice run" to determine your ideal cooking time.

CAUTION: NEVER stick a fork in the toaster and move it around to see if the tarts are done. Just don't. Use bamboo tongs (notice I said TONGS, not THONGS). These are two simple mistakes that I've made before, but they are easily avoidable. I don't buy bamboo thongs anymore for this reason. They were uncomfortable anyway.

We prefer to make chocolate tarts around here, but the variations are endless. You can stick with the safe options, like blueberry, strawberry, raspberry or chocolate chip. But if you're really feeling dangerous, you can get crazy with flavors such as hot fudge sundae, s'mores and brown sugar cinnamon. All of these are delicious (I know because I've made them all).

Serving suggestions: a tall glass of milk is a must.

But if you're feeling extra fancy, you can always top it off with some Reddi-Wip. Always a classy touch.

This recipe is great for breakfast, lunch or dinner. It's also a great snack for a pick-me-up in the middle of class. Just be sure to leave the Reddi Wip at home (trust me, people will give you dirty looks if you break that out during a PowerPoint presentation). Hope you enjoy!

bittersweet

Well... it happened.

No, Oprah did not ask me to come on her show to demonstrate my cereal recipe. She still hasn't returned any of my calls.

But I did graduate from college.

How do I feel?

I feel like chocolate.

Yep. The bittersweet kind. You know... the kind that you're not sure if you like at first. But then, with each bite, it just gets better and better. And pretty soon, after about a dozen (or 50) little chips, you realize how delicious this chocolate is. Then you start to see all of the possibilities to explore with this chocolate. You could put it in some muffins or cookies if you wanted. Or, if you're feeling really crazy, you could melt the chocolate, then dip some strawberries in it. Or, if you're like me, you could sit back, relax, and think about what you're going to do with that chocolate. You might, I don't know, be a nanny or something while you're deciding what route you should take.

This analogy may not make much sense to you. I don't think I even get it anymore. Now I'm just thinking about muffins.

The point is, at first I wasn't excited about this whole "graduation" concept. But now I'm realizing all of the possibilities that come with moving on. I'm only four days into this post-grad experience, but I don't think it's going to be as bitter as I once thought. I'm actually expecting it to be very sweet. Very sweet, indeed.

crap... I'm getting sentimental

I'm really going to miss this place...

It's been real. It's been fun. And yes... it's been real fun.

london calling

My friend/roommate/future blogger Emma is moving to London in August. Yes, London is calling her name, and she'll be attending grad school for the next year in one of the coolest cities in the world. Naturally, we decided to throw her a proper Bri-ish-themed surprise party before she hops the pond. And yes, I'm going to use the phonetic spelling of "Bri-ish" throughout the entirety of this post.

The menu was a slight variation on some Bri-ish classics. Fish (sticks) and (potato) chips, scones (slice-and-bake cookies), Bri-ish candy (Cadbury chocolate) and of course... tea (Earl Grey and Milo's). Also, I somehow conned Emma into making some raspberry bars for her own party.

That worked out nicely.

The decor? Really expensive stuff. And the boy from Twilight. The goal was to be as classy as possible. Mission accomplished.

The music? Titanic's soundtrack, which was conveniently on television that night. Nothing says "party" like eating fish sticks while listening to Jack and Rose freeze to death.

I think it's safe to say that this gathering was the bee's knees. We all had a jolly good time, and Emma was gobsmacked that we were able to pull it off. I think it's also safe to say that I just successfully incorporated three Bri-ish sayings in the last two sentences.

Yes, friends. It's true. Jack dies at the end of Titanic. Sorry I gave it away.

I've been dropping a few subtle hints about wanting to come visit in the fall. On an unrelated note: Emma, if you're reading this, have I ever told you how much I love London and air mattresses? Because I do. That was really random. Just wanted to tell you that.

I don't think I could be any happier for my friend and the incredible adventure she is about to embark on. But I'm also trying not to think about the fact that I probably won't see her for a while...

... at least until I come crash her flat.

cheerio!

I'm out like a fat girl in dodgeball

I had the honor of being part of an intramural dodgeball team this semester. Of course they asked me to play because of my unmatched athletic skills and cat-like reflexes. Or maybe it was because they just needed another name on the roster/someone to make fun of. Hmmm...

There was a lot of training that went into these games. Two-a-day practices every day for a year. Running every morning at 5 am. Watching lots of film (My favorite was Sherlock Holmes). Death crawls on the football field. Standing in front of a pitching machine. We lived, breathed and became dodgeball. But as soon as we stepped off of the bus and onto the court in our snap-off jumpsuits for the first time, and the lights dimmed and "Let's Get Ready to Rumble" started playing on the PA system, all of the blood, sweat and tears faded away into a distant memory. It was time to hit people.

The team's main strategy was to confuse/intimidate/embarrass every team we played. We did this mainly through our themed uniforms, but also through the clever things we yelled at them (i.e. "Y'all are stupid!" and "Your mom!"). But when yelling simply wasn't enough, we came up with the best gameplan of all: scrabble night. That's right. Everyone wear a different letter, and we'll form the most appropriate messages to spell, not yell, to the other team:

"Why be weak?" Yes, this was the best we could come up with. We didn't have enough vowels, ok?

My personal strategy was to hang around the back and hide behind people. We had a winning season, so I think it worked well.

Toward the end of the season, the team was hit with spring fever. Hard. We all tried to wear our g-string bikinis to one game, but it turns out we attend a private Christian college. It's ok, though. If you think it hurts to get hit by a dodgeball while fully clothed, then you can only imagine...

Even though the 2010 season is over, and even though some of us are graduating, we have not stopped practicing. No, quite the opposite. We have actually increased our training. Why? Two words: London 2012. Yep, they're adding dodgeball to the Olympic events.

Well, I've got to go now. Everyone is waiting on me at the gym, and I still have to go take my steroids.

I'm out. (...like a fat girl [or Brittany] in dodgeball...)