I am six months old

I know what you're wondering. "What on earth has Brittany been up to lately? Surely she hasn't just been baking this whole time."

To that I say, "So what if I was baking this whole time?"

But that's not all I've been doing. I've actually been working on a big project that I'll tell you about soon. The rest of my time has been spent babysitting. Yep, babysitting.

Yes, I did get a haircut. Thanks for noticing! I also got glasses. And I've aged a bit.

Since graduating college, I've had the opportunity to keep/nanny children from several families. It's actually been a blast. Besides making some great tax-free money, I've also learned some valuable life lessons from keeping children.

I've compiled a list of lessons I've learned, as well as some good advice if you're considering following in my footsteps and pursuing a career in professional babysitting.

1) Little boys love to expose themselves. The more you tell them to stop, the more they find it hilarious. Also, they can get creative with the word "poop." Did you know the word can be used as an adverb? Neither did I!

2) Never give children red snow cones on a hot day after waking them up from their nap in the car. Literal meltdown will ensue.

3) Learn which families have good babysitter food, and plan accordingly. It's always a good idea to bring along some pop-tarts just in case. Better safe than sorry...

4) Bible songs are awesome.

5) Children never forget. Anything. Remember when you were all at the park and you told the kids that if they were good, you would take them to Magic Muffins? Well, the children remember. And they will remind you every 25 seconds until you hand them their frosting-laced cookies.

6) Children's television isn't what it used to be. The creators of Baby Einstein and Yo Gabba Gabba are laughing all the way to the bank.

7) If you can't (effectively) apply sunscreen in less than 15 seconds, you're doomed. Game over.

8) Repeat after me: "Do you need to go potty?" Now say it again. And again. And again...

Not only have I learned practical lessons, but I've also discovered a lot about myself. I've come to the conclusion that I am a six-month-old child.

Let me explain.

One night I was trying desperately to get a sweet baby girl to sleep. She was squirming around, flailing her arms, and bending backwards while screaming at decibels I didn't know existed. She was pretty ticked. Of course I went through the checklist in my head to try and uncover the source of her distress. Dirty diaper? Nope. Hungry? Surely not... she just finished a bottle. There was really no reason for her to be so upset. She was safe in my arms, and there was no reason to worry. But I knew she was tired. If she would have just given up the fight and laid down on my shoulder, everything would be ok (and much easier for the both of us).

And that's when it hit me. I am a six-month-old. I squirm about, worrying about this and that, uncomfortable with where I am and anxious about the future. But while I'm wasting energy, the Lord is saying, "Kid. Chill out. Do you really think I'm going to ever leave you or forsake you? How about you just rest and I'll handle it. You may not hear me, but I can hear your cries. The baby monitor's on, and I'm getting a clear signal."

Hopefully I'll get back to consistently blogging soon (and by that I mean twice a month). But I'm not making any promises. And if Baby Einstein is on, you can forget seeing any new posts from me. That stuff is mesmerizing.